I’m not a big fan of making mistakes. I take them really seriously and wrestle with my own regrets over what I’ve done. It’s hard to see a lesson when it hurts. When you feel ashamed of yourself. When you worry that the mistake will cost a lot. Can mistakes bring anything good into your life? Shall you allow yourself to make them? Let’s check it out!
It’s not like you see their value right away. At least in my case, their value was not obvious. I hated to make mistakes. I hated to admit them. I hated to fail. Surprisingly, the more I tried to avoid them, the more they were coming up on the horizon. Sometimes, I was feeling like a loser believing it’s only me who didn’t succeed. Who didn’t get the point. Who didn’t get the job done.
That”s why, in order to save my face, I learned to master the ability to find a reason for every mistake I’ve made. I knew how to justify them by external circumstances. How to spot a gap in the process. How to prove the impact of third parties. It helped me a lot to get rid of the problems. Did I feel good about the way I was dealing with them? Not really. It’s been teaching me how to outsmart the system and people who were chasing for someone’s errors, but it’s not been teaching me how to get better at what I was responsible for.
The truth is that I didn’t want to acknowledge my mistakes fearing to lose my reputation. To lose something which seemed to define for whom was I considered. To lose a feeling that I was good enough. I was afraid of being taken for incompetent. Not suitable for the role I was holding. Not worth of trust. I was fearing to lose what I had and to start over having to build everything again. It was easier to pretend it wasn’t my fault than to recognize the error and fix it.
At some point, I’ve been feeling that it was not right and it was not fair either. People quickly identify others trying to hide the issues by sweeping them under the rug. Even if they don’t say it aloud, you know they’ve got to know the rules of your game. You figure it out by the way they look at you. They know you play the cards in a dishonest manner. Maybe it saves your ass, but it doesn’t save your soul. You know it has to stop one day.
We learn from failure, not from success.Bram Stoker, Dracula
The breakthrough for me was to make a series of big mistakes and realizing that my world was not over. On the contrary, once the worst moments were gone, I understood how much they’ve made me stronger. How much they taught me about myself, other people and life itself. How much they pushed me out of my boundaries. Those mistakes were not my curse, but my blessing. They’ve opened my eyes. They’ve opened my ears. They’ve opened my heart. I felt like because of them something ended up in my life, but at the same time, something better started. I would not be the same person that I am today without experiencing the consequences of those mistakes. That was the best school of surviving I’ve ever had.
Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new.Albert Einstein
It hit me that in some cases these are the mistakes that open new opportunities. Let’s see the following example: you complain of being put in a terrible position due to your mistake, but once you dust yourself off, you look around and you say: “Hey, actually it’s not so bad after all. I didn’t expect it to lead me here. I was not aware it existed. I’m curious what’s next”. This is precisely what I’ve experienced when having to face reality and keep going with doing my job. Each of the mistakes was a great source of knowledge and a powerful kick to try better. It was as well a useful feedback on how I was performing in my professional and personal life.
Allowing mistakes is the best method to avoiding them.PsychologyToday.com
When you put upon yourself a pressure to be perceived as a perfectionist, life scores you a goal after a goal to uncover your face. Paradoxically, when you allow yourself to make mistakes, you make them less. Why is that? It’s because your attention is focused on the learning process, not proving that you know the thing. In case of setbacks, you don’t lose time on doubting your abilities to complete successfully what you’ve started to do. You concentrate on finding a solution even at the cost of failure. It makes you more effective at working out the best approach.
Allowing yourself to make mistakes create a self-trust and increase your self-confidence. By accepting a risk of failure, you become a better player as you’re not afraid anymore to take another step. Most of successful people admit that it’s thanks to their mistakes that they’ve reached set goals. Every mistake brought them a lesson which helped them to perform better next time. It’s the matter of seeing your mistakes as friends, not as enemies.
How do you cope with your mistakes?
What was the most valuable lesson you’ve got from your mistakes?
Do you agree that we need to make mistakes in order to progress?
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