What if I want to give up?
Wherever I turn, I hear “don’t give up”. Whoever I talk to, I’m told “don’t give up”. Whatever page I open, I read “don’t give up”. What if I simply want to give up?
I’m blogging for over 15 years. I’ve started as a teenager writing my diary. Sharing my stories. Telling about feelings I couldn’t tell anyone. It was the time I could be really anonymous. It was the time when internet was still a safe place. This time will never come back.
I changed my blogs few times since then. Mostly while I was going through breakthrough periods in my life. It was supposed to be a manifest of closing a chapter. Of letting go the past. Of getting rid of some memories.
Starting the new.
Starting the new is always exciting, but never easy. I leave something behind me and I put the effort to build the present. I seek new challenges. I seek new friends. I seek a new reason to be.
I’m used to start with a great energy. With a great motivation. With a great ambition. Everything seems possible. I enjoy every small step. I find everything powerful. I can spend on it days and nights. Once I’m done, I wait for the results.
Time can be ally or enemie.
Not seeing any spectacular results, I feel like I want to give it all up. I feel like it all doesn’t have any sense. I feel like I will never achieve anything ressembling. I expect fireworks all the time. I expect every day brings a success. And when the stabilisation comes in, I treat it as a sign of failure.
One year ago I gave up on my blog who meant a lot for me. I stopped believing in it. I heard from a friend of mine: It’s not you. I read it and I don’t find you there. I tried to get myself there, but it didn’t work. I lost the purpose. I didn’t see the future. I decided to close this chapter as well. I decided to give up on it.
Today, I’ve started over again. I’ve started to seek myself for real. I couldn’t do it, if I didn’t give up on something which was precious for me, but which was killing me. Sometimes, we attach ourselves to something because of time, energy or passion we sacrified to build it. We hold it tight knowing it will lead us nowhere. But we don’t want to let it go. We don’t believe we can live without it. We don’t believe that leaving this might be the best way to getting something better.
Sometimes we need to give up in order to get up.
It’s not a shame to give up. It’s a shame not to get up. Not to stand for what is important in our life. Not to try again. The shame is to remain beaten.
If you feel like you should give up, do it. Not everything is good for us. Not everything is meant to be ours forever. All things in our life have their time. They might be there temporary and they might go away as quickly as they came. Nothing belongs to us in this life. The sooner we understand it, the easier will be to move on.
Today, I know I need to be patient. I need to be systematic. I need to be consistent. Otherwise, I’ll be always starting and ending up at the same point. I need to keep going. I need to celebrate small successes. I need to get up from big failures.
I need to give up whenever it’s necessary to keep me going.
Do yo believe giving up is a shame?
How often do you give up?
Do you get up quickly or you dwell on your failures?
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