Lifestyle: Don’t Be Fooled By Life Which Is Not Yours

Lifestyle: Don’t Be Fooled By Life Which Is Not Yours

Steve Jobs said that our time is limited and we should not waste it living someone’s else life. He couldn’t be more right. Our life is as unique as our fingerprint. Why don’t we want to live on our own terms? Why are we trying to sell it out to something that’s not ours?

The truth is that nobody can force us to be who we’re not. We make such a decision on our own. Whether it’s because of conformism or out of fear, we let other people tell us how shall we behave, what shall we like and what shall we think about. It’s not necessarily that these people are the ones who live near us. Oftentimes, these people might be the ones who run the most popular channels on social media.

We let InstaStars choose not only how to wear or how to do a perfect make-up, but also what to buy, for how much and how to boast it in front of others. We let Twitter influencers choose not only what to read about or what to get updated with, but also what to think about current issues, how to vote and how to encourage others to do the same.

This way, we hand over the rudder of our life to people whom we’ve never met in person, but who decide what direction shall we head. Isn’t strange that having got the freedom of speech, the freedom of thought and freedom of beliefs, we sell it so cheaply?

If you’re sick and tired of living a life which is not yours, please find below a few tips how to start living your own life.

1. Prioritize

We cannot do everything and we’d better not do it unless we want to break down. There was a time when I was stressing myself out to fit as many tasks as possible into my daily schedule. Not because I needed to deal with all of them at once. It’s because I convinced myself that this was expected of me and that all successful people did this way. If I wanted to be successful one day, I felt like I was obliged to work this way.

I was trying to follow an example of the most productive people who’ve been spending days and nights to reach their goals. I believed that in order to accomplish anything, I had to be the same. That it was the only way to achieve something. Even if it was drowning me and I felt totally exhausted. I was not questioning its impact on my well-being. What mattered for me was to imitate other people who went where I wanted to be. I’ve been looking at people who stared at me from the book covers and who’ve been promising that I could also get there. I trusted them.

Today, I trust myself. I give myself permission to complete tasks within the shortest delay but accordingly to my physical and mental capacity. It means that I refrain from pushing myself to the limits. I refrain from forcing myself to work at the same pace as successful people if it exceeds my current possibilities. I do things in harmony with my inner self who tells me when to stop and when I can do better.

What’s most important, I identified what’s meaningful for me. I figured out what gives me the highest fulfillment. I discovered what makes me fly. I like what Dr. Lisa Firestone said on the matter: When you don’t know what you want, you’re like a ship without a rudder. You stagnate in the harbor or in the best case you’re moved by the waves. When you know what you want, you become a captain and you go on the high seas.

Prioritizing requires to drop other people’s ideas of how should our life look like. There’s no room to accommodate someone’s vision that differs significantly from our aspirations. We’re not the result of someone’s thinking. We’re not the result of someone’s opinion. We’re the result of what we believe in. And this is what we should give a priority.

Listen to your own voice. What does it say? Who does it want you to be?

2. Disconnect

We lose much time living other people’s dramas. Living other people’s issues. Other people’s stories. They consume as much time as soap operas. And the result is the same. We remain passive viewers. We let our own life slip through our fingers as we’re busy with watching other people’s lives.

Look how much time we spend scrolling down posts and pictures of people who name themselves our friends, but who don’t say “hello” while passing us on the street. We observe how do they live, what do they do and with whom do they meet. We ask ourselves why we can’t live a life they do. We get depressed as our life seems so boring and pointless compared to theirs.

There was a time when I was focused more on what was happening with other people’s lives than with my own. I felt jealous. I felt frustrated. I felt worthless. Viewing instead of acting gradually brings emptiness. Certainly, it gives a temporary relief as we don’t have to think about our own problems. Nevertheless, every hour or every minute spent on watching other people’s life rather than building our own is a lost chance to experience something much better than can be offered on the best social profiles.

Today, I leave other people to live their life. I know that my time is precious and I cannot restore it. Either I give it away for free or I invest it in something that results in the highest return. Today, I disconnect from everything that makes me waste my time.

What do you want to invest your time in?

Read also: Life Lessons: 6 Powerful Ideas to Invest In Your Life Better

3. Be different

Being different doesn’t mean being worse. Far from it. Being different is being unique. Especially if all examples around you are quite negative. Then differentiating takes a new shape. It helps to get rid of destructive schemes.

  • I want to be different
  • I’ll be different
  • I’ll do differently

Saying it aloud is the first step to start the process. Deciding what does it mean for you to be different is the second step. Starting to act differently is the final and the most important one. Let yourself be unique. Find your path which is unrepeatable. Develop it. Give it a flavor. Create unknown. Play with it. Take your time.

There was a time when I considered being different as a drawback. As something that disadvantages me. I was asking myself: Why can’t I be as them? I thought it was much easier to blend in than to stand out. I didn’t want to stand out. I didn’t want to be pointed out. I didn’t want to be criticized for whom I was.

Today, I’m happy that I’m different. I see how much does it fuel me on a daily basis. How many ideas does it give me to do things that other people don’t do. How much courage does it give me to overcome my weaknesses. Being different made me believe that I don’t have to live the way people do around me. I can take a risk to try something new. If you remove fear from your life, you can reach really high. Don’t adapt to common schemas if you don’t feel it’s right.

What are you different at in your life? What do you want to become your best asset?

4. Uncover

Our individuality is not something to be hidden or what we should be ashamed of. Our individuality is a powerful strength that should be fully expressed. What’s the use of the light if it’s veiled? What’s the use of a treasure if it doesn’t serve any right purpose?

There was a time when I was hiding a true myself. I was afraid of not being accepted. I’ve been observing how did other people behave and I’ve been adjusting. I thought it was safer. I thought it was guaranteeing a seamless course of things.

Today, I know that I cannot hide all my life. I know that I need to show my real self regardless of the consequences. Playing a poker face wrecks my ability to feel a deep fulfillment with what I do and with who I am. I’m still in the process of uncovering myself, but I know that it is the only right way to win my life.

Take away your mask. Stop pretending. Abandon falseness. Run out of labels. Let your pretend fall away. Be authentic. Invite your true self. Reveal the best part of yourself. You’ll see how blissful it is. How much freedom does it give. How much sense does it bring to your life.

When are you planning to show your true face?


Thank you for reading this post! If you feel like it may help someone, please share it. I will be very happy to have your feedback and hear from you!

Do you feel like staying in touch? Follow me on social media or send me an email!

Thank you for being here,

Mimi


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12 thoughts on “Lifestyle: Don’t Be Fooled By Life Which Is Not Yours”

  • I love many points you made like the importance of embracing our individuality of taking risks, & trying something new. Of defining what success looks like for ourselves & choosing how we’ll get there without it negatively affecting our wellbeing. Thank you for the reminder that we need to check in with ourselves (not social media) on how to live our lives, how to think & choose for ourselves.

    • Thank you for sharing your thoughts on the matter! I feel like we’re rarely happy with our life the way it is and we seek to follow a scheme set by someone else believing it’ll work for us as well. Others’ life often seems much more appealing and successful than ours.

      The thing is that this scheme hardly ever works for us as we’re all different. I believe that everyone is due to work out own scheme and figure out own path to happiness. This is the only to feel genuinely fulfilled and accomplished.

      Do you feel like you’ve found your own path?

      • so true that for us to feel genuinely fulfilled & accomplished we need figure out our own path to happiness. personally, I’m sometimes at conflict with my paths (mostly in finding time for multiple goals in life), but I think for the most part, I already know what makes me happy, it’s just the prioritizing part that I have trouble with. Have you found your own path?

      • I believe I did. At least, for the time being, I know that I want to dedicate myself to writing and maybe in the near future to podcasting as well. Nevertheless, as you’ve rightly said, sometimes it’s the matter of prioritizing. And I don’t always manage it well. It happens that it all depends on your current mood or current events, but it shouldn’t be like that. My plan is to persevere in my decisions regardless of the adversities.

        What’s your current goal?

      • Podcasting sounds fun! Wish you the best on your journey! I totally agree that current mood or current events shouldn’t impact one’s plans. Yes, so with you on persevering despite adversities.

        I have some blogging related goals…but like you said today my mood was: “I don’t feel like writing for the blog.” I was this close to not scheduling anything for this week, but managed to…

        What are your writing goals if you don’t mind me asking? Do you only write for your blog, or do you have outside writing projects?

      • Thank you, Andrea! Let’s see how life is going to unwind in these areas! It’s curious how our goals are little resistant to very basic temptations like doing nothing or at least not doing what we should according to our decisions.

        I’m wondering whether it is because our goals are not really ours, but the ones we think could be good for us as they worked for another person or because we let ourselves believe that we’re not able to reacher higher than the average.

        As far as my writing goals are concerned, for the time being, the most important thing for me is to get consistent with regular posting. This is the fourth month when I follow a posting schedule with better or worse results. Another goal is to keep increasing the quality of my writing and the value I deliver to readers. I would like to give more and more useful content that changes people’s lives for the better.

        As of now, I write only for my blog, no outside writing projects. How about you?

      • that’s a thought-provoking idea, how if one does what has worked for someone else or not believe one can better than average.

        Those are awesome goals! & it’s thoughtful of you to make your readers your priority by delivering quality and useful content. πŸ™‚

        I don’t have other writing projects either. But I’m always curious about writing fiction… like short stories or writing about topics outside the niche of my blog

      • Thank you, Andrea, for your supportive words πŸ™‚ Let’s hope that I’ll manage to give it a go as planned. When it comes to writing fiction or the topics out of your niche, have you already tried them a bit?

      • You’re welcome! πŸ™‚ I have, but not with as much discipline, when I feel inspired. I think having a schedule for the blog helps with blog writing. Your question is giving me the idea to maybe set a more defined goal/habit of writing for other purposes, even if it’s just like once a week πŸ™‚

      • I was always a kind of person who”s been acting when feeling inspired. But it’s been bringing quite low results as it lacked consistency. Doing something from time to time doesn’t lead far. So I decided to implement a schedule and I must say that I see a big difference in my daily routine. I don’t rely so much on a fleeting inspiration, but I’ve incorporated writing into my usual habits. It’s not perfect yet. However, it helps a lot to push things further.

        The frequency doesn’t really matter. It might be twice a week or once a week. The simple fact that you do something consequently is a source of great satisfaction.

      • i think it’s awesome how consistency and a schedule made a big difference in your routine. You make a good point that it’s not about perfection, but about pushing things further. πŸ™‚

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