Steve Jobs said that our time is limited and we should not waste it living someone’s else life. He couldn’t be more right. Our life is as unique as our fingerprint. Why don’t we want to live on our own terms? Why are we trying to sell it out to something that’s not ours?
The truth is that nobody can force us to be who we’re not. We make such a decision on our own. Whether it’s because of conformism or out of fear, we let other people tell us how shall we behave, what shall we like and what shall we think about. It’s not necessarily that these people are the ones who live near us. Oftentimes, these people might be the ones who run the most popular channels on social media.
We let InstaStars choose not only how to wear or how to do a perfect make-up, but also what to buy, for how much and how to boast it in front of others. We let Twitter influencers choose not only what to read about or what to get updated with, but also what to think about current issues, how to vote and how to encourage others to do the same.
This way, we hand over the rudder of our life to people whom we’ve never met in person, but who decide what direction shall we head. Isn’t strange that having got the freedom of speech, the freedom of thought and freedom of beliefs, we sell it so cheaply?
If you’re sick and tired of living a life which is not yours, please find below a few tips how to start living your own life.
We cannot do everything and we’d better not do it unless we want to break down. There was a time when I was stressing myself out to fit as many tasks as possible into my daily schedule. Not because I needed to deal with all of them at once. It’s because I convinced myself that this was expected of me and that all successful people did this way. If I wanted to be successful one day, I felt like I was obliged to work this way.
I was trying to follow an example of the most productive people who’ve been spending days and nights to reach their goals. I believed that in order to accomplish anything, I had to be the same. That it was the only way to achieve something. Even if it was drowning me and I felt totally exhausted. I was not questioning its impact on my well-being. What mattered for me was to imitate other people who went where I wanted to be. I’ve been looking at people who stared at me from the book covers and who’ve been promising that I could also get there. I trusted them.
Today, I trust myself. I give myself permission to complete tasks within the shortest delay but accordingly to my physical and mental capacity. It means that I refrain from pushing myself to the limits. I refrain from forcing myself to work at the same pace as successful people if it exceeds my current possibilities. I do things in harmony with my inner self who tells me when to stop and when I can do better.
What’s most important, I identified what’s meaningful for me. I figured out what gives me the highest fulfillment. I discovered what makes me fly. I like what Dr. Lisa Firestone said on the matter: When you don’t know what you want, you’re like a ship without a rudder. You stagnate in the harbor or in the best case you’re moved by the waves. When you know what you want, you become a captain and you go on the high seas.
Prioritizing requires to drop other people’s ideas of how should our life look like. There’s no room to accommodate someone’s vision that differs significantly from our aspirations. We’re not the result of someone’s thinking. We’re not the result of someone’s opinion. We’re the result of what we believe in. And this is what we should give a priority.
Listen to your own voice. What does it say? Who does it want you to be?
We lose much time living other people’s dramas. Living other people’s issues. Other people’s stories. They consume as much time as soap operas. And the result is the same. We remain passive viewers. We let our own life slip through our fingers as we’re busy with watching other people’s lives.
Look how much time we spend scrolling down posts and pictures of people who name themselves our friends, but who don’t say “hello” while passing us on the street. We observe how do they live, what do they do and with whom do they meet. We ask ourselves why we can’t live a life they do. We get depressed as our life seems so boring and pointless compared to theirs.
There was a time when I was focused more on what was happening with other people’s lives than with my own. I felt jealous. I felt frustrated. I felt worthless. Viewing instead of acting gradually brings emptiness. Certainly, it gives a temporary relief as we don’t have to think about our own problems. Nevertheless, every hour or every minute spent on watching other people’s life rather than building our own is a lost chance to experience something much better than can be offered on the best social profiles.
Today, I leave other people to live their life. I know that my time is precious and I cannot restore it. Either I give it away for free or I invest it in something that results in the highest return. Today, I disconnect from everything that makes me waste my time.
What do you want to invest your time in?
3. Be different
Being different doesn’t mean being worse. Far from it. Being different is being unique. Especially if all examples around you are quite negative. Then differentiating takes a new shape. It helps to get rid of destructive schemes.
- I want to be different
- I’ll be different
- I’ll do differently
Saying it aloud is the first step to start the process. Deciding what does it mean for you to be different is the second step. Starting to act differently is the final and the most important one. Let yourself be unique. Find your path which is unrepeatable. Develop it. Give it a flavor. Create unknown. Play with it. Take your time.
There was a time when I considered being different as a drawback. As something that disadvantages me. I was asking myself: Why can’t I be as them? I thought it was much easier to blend in than to stand out. I didn’t want to stand out. I didn’t want to be pointed out. I didn’t want to be criticized for whom I was.
Today, I’m happy that I’m different. I see how much does it fuel me on a daily basis. How many ideas does it give me to do things that other people don’t do. How much courage does it give me to overcome my weaknesses. Being different made me believe that I don’t have to live the way people do around me. I can take a risk to try something new. If you remove fear from your life, you can reach really high. Don’t adapt to common schemas if you don’t feel it’s right.
What are you different at in your life? What do you want to become your best asset?
Our individuality is not something to be hidden or what we should be ashamed of. Our individuality is a powerful strength that should be fully expressed. What’s the use of the light if it’s veiled? What’s the use of a treasure if it doesn’t serve any right purpose?
There was a time when I was hiding a true myself. I was afraid of not being accepted. I’ve been observing how did other people behave and I’ve been adjusting. I thought it was safer. I thought it was guaranteeing a seamless course of things.
Today, I know that I cannot hide all my life. I know that I need to show my real self regardless of the consequences. Playing a poker face wrecks my ability to feel a deep fulfillment with what I do and with who I am. I’m still in the process of uncovering myself, but I know that it is the only right way to win my life.
Take away your mask. Stop pretending. Abandon falseness. Run out of labels. Let your pretend fall away. Be authentic. Invite your true self. Reveal the best part of yourself. You’ll see how blissful it is. How much freedom does it give. How much sense does it bring to your life.
When are you planning to show your true face?
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