Life Mistakes: 6 reasons why you will never meet people’s expectations

Life Mistakes: 6 reasons why you will never meet people’s expectations

I changed a lot for people who were expecting it from me. More than I’ve ever imagined. I thought it will solve all the problems. It just multiplied them.

How did I let that happen? It’s all about small steps. It’s all about pushing limits a bit farther every single time. It’s about a fear that if I don’t please them, they will go away.

It’s not like I changed my rules overnight. They’ve been changing systematically when I had doubts about what to do. When I was questioning myself: should I stick to them stubbornly or calm down the situation? I let change them at the very small signs of people’s resistance to accept them.

I remember how much pain I was feeling when fighting against myself. It’s easy to say I should leave and stay loyal to my values. It doesn’t always work this way. I didn’t feel like starting over again and again. I was fed up with constant fights. Disputes. Arguments. I started to believe that my rules didn’t have sense anymore.

I thought I was going for an easier path. The worst thing is that it wasn’t an easier path. I found out about it in due course of time. I felt mad I gave up on who I was. I was mad I let other people tell me who I should be. I felt like I couldn’t change it anymore.

Before you give up on something to meet someone’s expectations please read 6 reasons why it’s not worthy.

1. People ask for more and more

It’s not like we can fulfill someone’s expectations forever. The expectations grow. The more we give, the more we’re expected to keep giving. People get used very quickly to what is given and take it for granted. They’re more likely to ask for what is missing that to appreciate what was already given.

2. People don’t respect us.

It’s not like we get more respect when we satisfy other people. It’s not that we’re more likable. More beloved. People show their gratitude just for a while. They quickly forget. Respect is not a matter of saying yes. Respect is the matter to say no.

3. We feel dishonest to ourselves

It definitely doesn’t make us proud of ourselves if we’re to make people’s wishes come true. We all have our own dreams we’re responsible for. We all have our own plans. We all want to mean something in this life.

4. We don’t progress

If we do only what is expected from us, then no surprise we don’t have the motivation to do anything above it. Our batteries are low we don’t fulfill what we are meant to. We simply follow people’s instructions.

5. We lose oneself

We forget about ourselves. About what we like. What we love. What is important for us. We forget what we can achieve when listening to our heart.

6. We never meet all expectations

People tend to be quite demanding with their expectations. It’s not like we can make them fully happy if they don’t make themselves happy on their own. It’s never enough. It’s never forever. It’s never complete.

Let’s stop wasting time on doing something which is harmful to our soul.

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12 thoughts on “Life Mistakes: 6 reasons why you will never meet people’s expectations”

  • That’s a tough one. For the longest time I thought I was doing just fine being 100% myself. Not many people accepted it, but I did not care. Those whom I truly cared about cared about me and everything was dandy. And then one of them would try and “help me”. It was all in good faith. Not for me to listen to them, but for me to have an easier life. I saw how people treated them, and how people treated me. Even though I didn’t need other people, I thought it might be a good idea to have more people on my side. To build those essential connections in life. So I tried. Just like you said – it’s not something that changes overnight. It’s a lengthy and a difficult process. What I realize now is that I should have never tried. It got me absolutely nowhere. What works for some does not work for everyone.

    • Moreover, it’s so frustrating. Expectations change all the time. Have you managed to complete one? They will raise the bar. People rarely seem happy with the efforts and small progress. They require immediate results and even if you luckily get them what they want, they will take it for granted.

  • A nice post!
    For me, I am the type of person who changes easily by people I care for. So, I have been hurt so many many times because I let them control my feelings. However, I believe that it is all part of the process of growing up and figuring out about life and personalities. To love and get hurt is not bad but what I am trying to correct is to stop repeating my mistakes because that way I am out of the process of learning!

    • Hi Chaymaa! Thank you so much for sharing thoughts in this matter. It’s very true what you’ve said about the process of growing up. Sometimes, it must hurt so that we learn. It’s not the most pleasant learning method, but definitely the most effective. What do you recommend in order to stop making the same mistakes over and over again?

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