I changed a lot for people who were expecting it from me. More than I’ve ever imagined. I thought it will solve all the problems. It just multiplied them.
How did I let that happen? It’s all about small steps. It’s all about pushing limits a bit farther every single time. It’s about a fear that if I don’t please them, they will go away.
It’s not like I changed my rules overnight. They’ve been changing systematically when I had doubts about what to do. When I was questioning myself: should I stick to them stubbornly or calm down the situation? I let change them at the very small signs of people’s resistance to accept them.
I remember how much pain I was feeling when fighting against myself. It’s easy to say I should leave and stay loyal to my values. It doesn’t always work this way. I didn’t feel like starting over again and again. I was fed up with constant fights. Disputes. Arguments. I started to believe that my rules didn’t have sense anymore.
I thought I was going for an easier path. The worst thing is that it wasn’t an easier path. I found out about it in due course of time. I felt mad I gave up on who I was. I was mad I let other people tell me who I should be. I felt like I couldn’t change it anymore.
Before you give up on something to meet someone’s expectations please read 6 reasons why it’s not worthy.
1. People ask for more and more
It’s not like we can fulfill someone’s expectations forever. The expectations grow. The more we give, the more we’re expected to keep giving. People get used very quickly to what is given and take it for granted. They’re more likely to ask for what is missing that to appreciate what was already given.
2. People don’t respect us.
It’s not like we get more respect when we satisfy other people. It’s not that we’re more likable. More beloved. People show their gratitude just for a while. They quickly forget. Respect is not a matter of saying yes. Respect is the matter to say no.
3. We feel dishonest to ourselves
It definitely doesn’t make us proud of ourselves if we’re to make people’s wishes come true. We all have our own dreams we’re responsible for. We all have our own plans. We all want to mean something in this life.
4. We don’t progress
If we do only what is expected from us, then no surprise we don’t have the motivation to do anything above it. Our batteries are low we don’t fulfill what we are meant to. We simply follow people’s instructions.
5. We lose oneself
We forget about ourselves. About what we like. What we love. What is important for us. We forget what we can achieve when listening to our heart.
6. We never meet all expectations
People tend to be quite demanding with their expectations. It’s not like we can make them fully happy if they don’t make themselves happy on their own. It’s never enough. It’s never forever. It’s never complete.
Let’s stop wasting time on doing something which is harmful to our soul.
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