Life Lessons: The only respect you should have is the one you earn
What do I know about respect? Not so much. Watching my parents fighting each other for small stupid things did not bring me any valuable lesson on how to show proper respect.
When I started my adventure with relationships, what was the most important to me was to show respect to my partner in public. I hate when people air their dirty laundry in public. They think it’s funny and it makes them more appealing as a couple. But for me, it was never acceptable. I’d rather tend to demonstrate how proud I was of my partner.
It doesn’t mean it was always the case at home.
It’s hard to show respect at home when:
- Someone’s behavior annoys you
- You have a bad day
- You’re tired
- You don’t feel appreciated
- You go for verbal battles
- You don’t experience a reciprocity
I bet you could say that everyone deserves respect and it’s my problem if I’m not able to demonstrate it. But if you go deeper into details, you’d learn it’s not as easy as we’re used to saying.
Has it ever happened to you that someone’s tone of voice drove you crazy? How many times do you say “Because you always…” or “Because you never…”?
If you have, then you know what I’m talking about.
Another day a man told me:
– Respect brings respect.
I thought: Does it mean we should respect all people unconditionally regardless of what they do or what they say?
I gave it some time.
Later on, I thought: Does it mean that if I respect myself, everyone else will be respecting me?
Not so sure. I gave it again some time.
I thought: Does it mean we can be respected only if we earn it?
That’s the key.
It’s not about respecting all people blindly. It’s not about respecting myself unconsciously. It’s about all I do in my life that earns people’s respect.
It’s not something I can buy. It’s not something I can ask for. It’s something that comes naturally as a result of all my actions.
Does it mean I should follow other people’s rules to get respect?
No, I should follow my own code of conduct and be in line with what I say. We don’t get respected doing what other people tell us to do. We get respect when we stay loyal to our values regardless of circumstances.
Attitude is a choice.
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Have a wonderful day!