Life Lessons: 3 best tips how to forget people who left you

Life Lessons: 3 best tips how to forget people who left you

I lost a lot of people in my life. Some of them passed away. Some of them left my life with a big noise. Some of them quit my life silently without being noticed.

Some people, I’ve never seen them again.

Some people say “Hi”, but never say “How are you?”.

Some people behave like strangers. Like we’ve never had anything in common. Like we’ve never been close to each other.

We forget fast

People will always remember the bad things you did and always forget the good things you’ve done.

When people pass away we mostly hold good memories of them. When people decide to leave our life we mostly hold bad memories of them. Why is that? I was asking myself this question when I was trying to justify the reason someone left me. Despite all my efforts, it was hard to keep in mind the good moments we’ve spent together. The very first thought which was coming to the fore was bringing a feeling of resentment and bitterness.

I know pretty well which relationship was not healthy. Which one was not satisfactory. Which one was not mutual. Nevertheless, a feeling of being abandoned or rejected seemed stronger than any other logical argument.

I know pretty well that I cannot restore those relationships even if I would like to do so. They’re already my past. We’ve got our time. They completed their role in my life and I completed my role in their life. It’s time to take different paths. Staying together will not let us get the next lessons. It’s time to move on.

There was a time when I was regretting every relationship I lost. I was trying to find an explanation of what went wrong. I was making myself feel guilty.

– What did I do wrong?

The thing is that sometimes we don’t do anything wrong. It’s life which decides to break a cord. To make us raise in different directions. To link us with new people. To give us something better.

Tip: You can easily forget by keeping yourself busy with things you’re passionate about. Give your life a new direction, find a matter you can fully focus on, work hard and connect with new people who will totally absorb your attention.

Things change fast

I look at the pictures of people who were used to be my friends before. I say to myself:

– It’s so funny and so sad at the same time how things change.

Do you think things change from one day to another or is it a matter of time which breaks us unnoticeable? With the words, we use, with the way we look at people, with the time we don’t have for them. It’s absolutely spectacular how simple things influence the whole life. I’m amazed when analyzing their impact on my well-being and the well-being of people who are close to me.

Tip: Time is the best remedy and small things can successfully distract your attention. Drop by drop, day after day, you will see that the pain lacks its power. Enjoy small things, small moments of joy, small friendly gestures. You’re not alone even if you feel like the one. Millions of people went and go through the same. Help each other to win over the pain.

Things that cannot be fixed

How is it possible that we cannot change what happened? That we cannot fix mistakes? That it’s easier to leave than to repair? Everything happens for a purpose. Sometimes, we feel intuitively that there’s nothing to repair. Or we don’t want to repair it as it lost all its value for us. We don’t find any further enjoyment keeping it with us. Being a collector of dead friendships or relationships brings the emptiness and makes us coming back to a vicious circle we’ve managed to escape from.

Tip: Accept what happened. Forgive and let it go. This turnaround may be an opportunity to go where you’ve always wanted to be. Some people stop us from doing so. Refrain from looking back and benefit from what life is giving you today.

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12 thoughts on “Life Lessons: 3 best tips how to forget people who left you”

  • How interesting that you wrote about this now. Just yesterday I was thinking about someone I thought was my friend back in the day. It was someone with whom I clicked after years of not bonding with anyone. I never really cared to repair any friendships in the past, but this I valued enough to try. It didn’t work out and I am OK with what happened. A part of me wonders why I tried, but a part of me is glad that I did just so I would know for sure.

    • This scenario sounds familiar to me. It’s good you tried. At least you have no doubts now on what is between both of you. I tried with some people to repair the friendship, but I soon realized that the effort has to be continued by both sides. With some people I”ve never tried it again. Eventually, I feel good about them not being in my life anymore even if sometimes I ask myself: What the fuck happened to us? Do you regret some relationships which are gone? If you had a chance to restore them, would you go for it?

      • No. I have no regrets. Those decisions always proved correct.
        However, I lost contact with a friend from primary school after we went off to high school. The chose to put more energy into other friendships. Then I moved away for uni and then even farther for the rest of my life. We met last Christmas and they insisted on catching up soon. I’m not sure if it’s because we’re all grown up and that’s what adults do, or just for posterity reasons, because we probably will never be able to meet for a drink.

      • It’s good that you have no regrets in this matter. I’m used coming back to certain decisions which were made, certain mistakes which were not committed and certain friendships which were lost. It’s stronger than me. Even if I feel better without them today, some part of myself considers it as a failure provided a number of people who are gone from my life. I’m feeling guilty that certain friendships ended up in a bad way. Sometimes I think it’s easier when people just stop talking to each other than when I know that something was messed up. I feel responsible for it even if it cannot be fixed anymore.

      • I can totally understand that. But on the other hand, at least you have closure of sorts, which you wouldn’t really have if you just “stopped talking”. Are you able to reach out to those people? Do you have any means to contact them? Maybe through Facebook, etc? It might be worth it for you, just to even reach out and say hello. It might put you more at ease? Time has passed. You might be able to have small talk and then just drift back away with not much bad blood?

      • Frankly speaking, I haven’t thought about it. With some people, it might work, but with other people, it won’t. I got comfortable in my little capsule not having to expose myself to be hurt. It’s safer to reminiscence what went wrong in the past instead of trying to reconnect. On the other hand, what refrains me from doing this is a stupid feeling of pride: You left my life? Fine! I don’t need you either.

      • I completely got your point. The thing is that what refrains me from doing it is a fear or sorrow that I’m the only one trying. And then I think: Why am I always the only one trying? Are you sometimes moving forward without trying?

      • A tough question. I believe that I’ve always tried, as long as I thought the other person was trying. Once they were done, so was I. However, at some point in my life, I decided to start an experiment and try even when the other person stops trying. I think I’ve done that to prove to some people that it wasn’t me who was always burning the bridges. Well, it wasn’t just to prove them wrong. It was more of a learning experience to me. I wanted to see if maybe there was room for improvement with this particular area of social interactions. Turns out, I AM a pretty good judge of character. It doesn’t mean that I won’t give you a chance to mend your ways, but I will definitely not bend over backwards just to try.

        When it comes to reconnecting, I feel like it rarely goes the way you wish. People just have separate lives and they could do without you just fine.

        I am being told time and time again to try. I’m not sure why, because time and time again I am shown that others do NOT try. F*ck ’em, I say.

      • What you’ve said, it was truly to the point. It stirred me up as it’s so real. We are always asked to try, to step down, to sacrifice. But them, they don’t do the same. And even if we do it, they don’t give a damn.

        My mum was complaining some time ago: “Why it’s always me who’s supposed to contact them first? Why they’re waiting instead of taking an initiative at least once?”.

        Well, apparently they got used to it, they don’t care or they’re just fine with the way it works. They know you won’t resist too long.

        Do you believe friendships can work when only one person is engaged in maintaining the relation?

      • Not at all.
        The reason why I’m OK with friendships falling apart sometimes is because I know they are meant to serve a specific purpose. Sometimes, those purposes are served and there is no need for it later on.

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