Have you ever experienced a feeling of loneliness? I bet you did. Everyone did at least once a lifetime. It doesn’t feel nice, does it? In fact, it sucks. It makes you feel worthless. However, being alone doesn’t have to mean being lonely. If you know how to approach it, it will never make you feel bad anymore.
Most of people struggle with a feeling of loneliness as they consider it as a form of punishment. They don’t notice the value which is hidden underneath. They don’t see its potential. They waste their time to complain how unfairly life has treated them instead of opening their eyes to a spectrum of possibilities it actually brings.
A survey conducted in 2018 by the Kaiser Family Foundation proved that about 22% of Americans constantly feel alone (source: Good House Keeping). People in Korea are paying to watch someone having dinner with them. Over the last 3 decades, the average number of friends in our network has decreased (source: Apa) which makes people anxious.
Being alone – should it be a reason to complain or a reason to be happy? It depends on your priorities. If you can’t live without the crowd, being alone might quickly turn in a feeling of loneliness. But if you enjoy disengaging from social life for a while, it might bring you numerous benefits. Not for nothing Jim Carey said:
Solitude is dangerous. It’s very addictive. It becomes a habit once you realize how peaceful and calm it is. It’s like you don’t want to deal with people anymore because they drain your energy.
Let’s see how to avoid a feeling of loneliness even if you’re alone.
1. Do something creative
If you feel disconnected, do something out of the box. Let your self-expression come to light. Plenty of hidden emotions wait for their turn to play a role in your life. In the daily rush, you may lose contact with a part or parts of yourself that are creative and need to be exteriorized. The person you represent most of the time is the one who’s centered at the targets and goals to achieve. It’s so absorbing that you often forget about the existence of your other nature which isn’t less important.
For me, time when I’m alone is usually the time when I write or create other content. Once I’m done, I use this time to rearrange the space around me. To clear it out from all items which don’t give me joy. When I was a kid, I’ve got plenty of time alone. That time was the most creative one in my life. I had to come up with various activities to fill out boring days. It taught me that every spare moment can be well utilized.
2. Help people in need
When there are no people around you, go to those ones who’re in need. You may not know them and they may not know you. But when a need meets a willingness to help, this is when beautiful acts happen. There’s no better feeling than the one of being needed. You quickly forget about your solitude when you realize the enormity of human misery. And when you become less self-focused. Helping eases the loneliness. You don’t have to leave your place in order to help. You can do it interactively in many ways. A supportive comment, helpful feedback, engaging discussion, appreciative email. Helping doesn’t require spectacular deeds. Do something nice for a stranger. Start a conversation with someone you don’t know. Share experience.
Today, I met an elderly woman in yoga classes. She was there for the first time. When the class terminated, she looked discouraged. We started to have a chat in the changing room. She didn’t believe her body would be able to adjust to all positions. She thought it was too late for her. That she can do nothing about that.
– I haven’t exercised for 20 years – she admitted.
I spent a bit more time in the changing room than usual. I told her that beginnings are always difficult, that next time she’ll see the difference, that she’ll be feeling much better when participating systematically in classes. I noticed a hope in her eyes. She was beaming. She smiled. That was what she needed the most – the validation and a feeling that she’s not alone in her efforts. She was grateful. I knew I’ll see her again next time.
3. Focus on personal development
Don’t discount the best opportunity to work on your personal strengths. When you’re alone, you can perfectly focus on yourself. Nobody disturbs your concentration. You can read, you can listen to podcasts, you can watch motivational videos. Moreover, it’s a perfect opportunity to participate in trainings, e-learnings or courses.
Check out my first life course here!
I don’t dispose of much of time only for myself, that’s why every possibility to skip the crowd sounds like an invitation to take care of my mental growth. If you prefer to work on it within a group of people, join a club, a class or a volunteer community. Meet new people who’ll give you a shot of new energy.
Another day I wrote a post Why do I like my own company. I discovered that spending time on my own can be a fantastic experience. Some people might feel awkward to go alone to a cafe, to a restaurant or any other public place. Me, on the contrary, I like doing it. I like enjoying space being alone. Having time to think. Seeing wider things and people. Not feeling the obligation to entertain anyone.
What’s the best is that I don’t feel lonely anymore even if I’m alone. Firstly, because I appreciate being alone from time to time and being able to focus on my favorite activities. Secondly, because thanks to all of you I don’t feel lonely. I know you’re there, somewhere in the world, and I can always reach you out or read about what you’re currently going through. It gives me a wonderful sense of belonging to the best group of people I’ve ever known.
Thank you for reading this post! It was a great pleasure to write it for you. If you enjoyed the post, I will be very happy if you like it, comment on it or share it. Your support means a lot to me.
Thank you for being here,