Life Crisis: How to live feeling guilty

Life Crisis: How to live feeling guilty

Are you wondering how to stop feeling guilty for something which is already over? Do you feel fed up with thoughts triggering painful emotions? Would you like to escape a vicious circle of self-blaming? Let’s find out how to overcome one of the most destructive feelings.

Listen, you need to understand a fundamental thing: feeling guilty about what you’ve done doesn’t mean you’re a bad person. It means you’ve tried to do something right, something which was right in your eyes, but it went into a bad direction. It means you care enough to take full responsibility for what happened. You know you did wrong. You know you could do differently. You know you cannot change it anymore.

It’s normal you feel guilty. It’s a good sign. It demonstrates your empathy for people who were hurt. It means you’re not a complete asshole who pretends nothing happened. Listen: it’s all right you feel like that. Let it be for a while and let it play its role.

What is obvious is that you don’t want to live feeling guilty forever. You acknowledge your responsibility, but you want to keep your head up.

The thought is what creates everything.

1. Change your thoughts

Replace them with new ones. Find something which will fulfill your mind. It may be:

  • New passions
  • New activities
  • New areas of interest
  • New people
  • New ideas
  • New goals

2. Use your senses

Sometimes despite all efforts, we don’t manage to change our thoughts. Then, it’s time to free your mind by using your senses. Choose something which is the most absorbing for your mind.

  • Watch a movie
  • Go to a gallery
  • Go to a concert
  • Gor for a bike ride
  • Go to a gym
  • Cook a good meal
  • Hug someone
  • Clean your place
  • Play a game

3. Bring good karma to your life

The only way to overcome the effect of your bad karma is by doing a great amount of good karma in your life.

Yes, maybe you’ve done a lot of bad things in your life. Nevertheless, it doesn’t mean it’s too late to make them up with good things. Sometimes, it’s not possible to make it up for people we hurt. But it’s possible to make good things for other people who need it. With the course of time, you will realize how big impact it had on your life and on other people’s life. It may even make people you hurt forgive you as they see how hard you try to be a better person.

Remember: we forget with time. Something you feel heavily guilty about today might not have the same power in a few months or years. Give yourself this time. Understand that everyone makes mistakes and as human beings, we shouldn’t judge each other or blame each other. You shouldn’t judge or blame yourself either. If you got your lesson, you will never ever make the same mistake. And that’s the core of the healing process.

You can live feeling guilty or you can stop feeling guilty. The choice is yours.

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11 thoughts on “Life Crisis: How to live feeling guilty”

  • I think engaging your senses is genius.
    And I wholeheartedly agree with no. 3. I know people who just clam up once they feel guilty. You NEED to try and do something good. One negative thing does not make everything else irrelevant. Especially when we’re talking about the future.
    Live with guilt, or put it to use.

    • Thank you for this point Goldie! Do you think it suffices to do good things to other people who need it or we’re always supposed to make up the things for people we hurt?

      • I feel like doing things for people we hurt takes priority. I think about it in Math terms. Say a person is equal to a “0”. When we hurt them, they become -1. Other people, without our hurt are 0. -1 is less than 0. I hope that other people have other people to do good things for them. Of course, if you have the ability, turn that -1 into a 0 and that other 0 into a 1.

            • What if you don’t want to continue any relationship with people you hurt? Shall you still insist on making things up for the sake of being forgiven?

              • Good question. It depends on the severity of the hurt. If you borrowed a lot of money and then refused to pay it back, I’d say – give it back. Manners. Otherwise, I think a “sorry” would suffice if you are going your own way.

                • I completely agree that a material reparation is indispensable if applicable. However, when it comes to the mental one, it’s not obvious how to approach the subject. Sometimes, the best apology is to remove yourself from someone’s life. Has it happened to you or you were always repairing your mistakes?

                  • First, there need to be mistakes to repair.
                    Some people might feel like like I’ve just left and left them without reparations. But I feel like I left for my own good. It’s a very subjective thing.

    • Hi there! Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts on the matter! Indeed, our mistakes don’t define who we are. It took me a lot of time to understand it as I was identifying myself with all the bad things which happened in my life. How about you? Was it always clear for you?

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