Today, I feel like it’s over. Like something must end. Either, it’s the situation I’m in, people I’m with or a part of myself.
We all have big changes in our lives that are more or less a second chance.
I feel like I cannot live the same way anymore. I feel like I cannot stand choices I’ve made. I feel like I’ve taken too many bad decisions. I feel like I’ve let people treat me the way I’ve never wanted to be treated. I feel like I’ve got to the point I’ve never wanted to be in.
I feel I went too far from myself. I’m too far from my dreams. I’m too far from the way I wanted to live. I’m too far from the emotions I wanted to feel.
Don’t wait. Await.
Maybe, it’s all because I want everything right now. Maybe, I don’t know how to wait. Maybe, the life I want to live is to come. Maybe, I need to go through these tough times humbled. To learn how to believe. How to trust. How to await.
Maybe this situation is to make me understand it is just a stage of my life. And that dreams and the life I want to live don’t come overnight. Maybe, I’m not ready. Maybe, I still have too much mess in my life. Maybe, I’m not prepared for what is meant to be given to me.
Don’t expect to change. Change.
I always expect other people to change. I always claim I already changed a lot. I always expect other people to do something. I always claim I’ve already done a lot.
Maybe, life isn’t about others to change or to do something. Maybe, it’s all about me. Maybe, I should start living the way I want it to be.
Don’t crush. Improve.
It’s hard to crush something we’ve been building for years. Even if we know this is not something we’ve ever wanted to build. We calculate time, effort and the price we paid. We badly try to do whatever necessary to avoid realizing it was a waste of time. We don’t want to lose the toy even if it doesn’t bring us joy anymore. We got used to having it. And we cannot imagine we could give it back.
How would it be if we suddenly smash all we’ve built? Our relationships, our career, our goods. How would it be to start over having nothing? Would it be liberating or would it be terrifying for you?
At some point I’m on keen on starting over my life. But if I imagine myself losing my job, losing my loved ones, losing everything I have, it doesn’t look fun anymore.
Maybe we don’t have to change the whole life. Maybe we can change few things to improve its quality. Maybe it brings more results to focus on three key aspects instead of turning it all upside down.
I don’t regret all I went through. It made me stronger. It cleaned out my life from toxic people. It gave me courage to fight for myself.
What I decide today is:
- I don’t let other people impose their priorities on my life
- I don’t waste time on things which don’t bring results
- I remove all factors which disperse my attention
- I give my focus to things which make me grow
- I enjoy free time I released from meaningless activities
Let’s see how it works for me.
Have a nice day!