Life Challenge: How to avoid talking about something you don’t want to talk about

Life Challenge: How to avoid talking about something you don’t want to talk about

There’re some topics that we prefer to leave unsaid. Either because we’re embarrassed or because they bring back bad memories. The more often we rediscuss them, the more often those problems remain unsolved. Let’s see today how are the best methods of avoiding topics we don’t want to take about.

Coming back repetitively to the same problematic topics is neither pleasant, nor effective. It causes an increasing frustration and a defensive approach. How do I know about it? Because I’m the master of digging up unsolved matters, repetitive problems, and ambiguous situations. I know perfectly which topics are the hottest ones for my interlocutor and which ones are not supposed to be touched upon. I can spot them based on verbal and non-verbal reactions: look, tone of the voice, silence, changing the subject.

However, there are certain topics I don’t want to come back to. They’re closed for me and I find them painful to be an open question again. These topics related to past mistakes, past incidents, past suffering can mostly be stirred up by a random word or intentionally by people who aim at teasing you.

If you want to prevent a necessity to answer inconvenient questions, here are a few checked ideas how to do it.

1. Initiate a different topic

The best method to distract unwelcome attention is to adopt a proactive attitude. Waiting passively stimulate the interlocutor to be in charge of the tone of the discussion and this is not something you want. If you’re in charge of it, you decide what you will be talking about. This way, you don’t give a chance to easily sneak to unwanted topic.

2. Don’t talk about yourself

Talking about yourself facilitates your interlocutor to put you quickly against the wall. Don’t talk about yourself. Don’t about other people. Talk about your interlocutor. You’re guaranteed it will work and get your interlocutor’s mind busy for a long time. People love to talk about themselves. Ask as many questions as possible, get truly interested and attentive to what your interlocutor is telling you, show your empathy. Your interlocutor will be kind of awkward to insist on exploring any cumbersome matters.

3. Get busy

Put it straight – you don’t have time for meaningless chitchats. Either your interlocutor goes into the heart of the matter or you would have to postpone casual small talk. People cease to insist when they see how absorbed you are by more important matters. The only reason why your private life concerns them is that they have nothing better to do with their life. Get them involved in other activities or let them know it’s not the best time for going deeper into the nuances of your life.

Open your book of life only to few people. Because in this world very few care to understand the chapters, others are just curious to know.

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9 thoughts on “Life Challenge: How to avoid talking about something you don’t want to talk about”

  • Depends who it is, I don’t want to talk about it usually works. Unless the person has issues in which case around that person you will always have to keep your guard up.
    Love, light and glitter

    • True, but sometimes the more you don’t want to talk about something, the more people insist or tease you with suggestive comments. As you rightly said, it depends on who it is. However, I’ve experienced that people can be really mean if they feel a big revelation.

      • They’re mean out of insensitivity not because they’re aware of it. I think most people don’t want to hurt others. It requires being direct and honest that it is just not up for discussion and keeping to it – and explaining that repeatedly asking or teasing isn’t okay and is hurtful.
        People can push but really its mostly up to the person who doesn’t want to share to steer clear as with all your suggestions or keep saying it’s not going to be discussed and walk away.
        Just my thoughts. And of course its different when dealing with unhealthy people.
        Love, light and glitter

      • That’s true, but some people seek entertainment. Especially if they get bored with their own life. I agree with you that usually, people don’t want to hurt others, but they like to play with them. I’ve met such people who were living for gossips. You can find them at school. You can find them at work. You can find them everywhere. They might not see the harm they do to others, but it doesn’t stop them from chasing news to share.

        Have you met such people in your life?

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