There’re some topics that we prefer to leave unsaid. Either because we’re embarrassed or because they bring back bad memories. The more often we rediscuss them, the more often those problems remain unsolved. Let’s see today how are the best methods of avoiding topics we don’t want to take about.
Coming back repetitively to the same problematic topics is neither pleasant, nor effective. It causes an increasing frustration and a defensive approach. How do I know about it? Because I’m the master of digging up unsolved matters, repetitive problems, and ambiguous situations. I know perfectly which topics are the hottest ones for my interlocutor and which ones are not supposed to be touched upon. I can spot them based on verbal and non-verbal reactions: look, tone of the voice, silence, changing the subject.
However, there are certain topics I don’t want to come back to. They’re closed for me and I find them painful to be an open question again. These topics related to past mistakes, past incidents, past suffering can mostly be stirred up by a random word or intentionally by people who aim at teasing you.
If you want to prevent a necessity to answer inconvenient questions, here are a few checked ideas how to do it.
1. Initiate a different topic
The best method to distract unwelcome attention is to adopt a proactive attitude. Waiting passively stimulate the interlocutor to be in charge of the tone of the discussion and this is not something you want. If you’re in charge of it, you decide what you will be talking about. This way, you don’t give a chance to easily sneak to unwanted topic.
2. Don’t talk about yourself
Talking about yourself facilitates your interlocutor to put you quickly against the wall. Don’t talk about yourself. Don’t about other people. Talk about your interlocutor. You’re guaranteed it will work and get your interlocutor’s mind busy for a long time. People love to talk about themselves. Ask as many questions as possible, get truly interested and attentive to what your interlocutor is telling you, show your empathy. Your interlocutor will be kind of awkward to insist on exploring any cumbersome matters.
3. Get busy
Put it straight – you don’t have time for meaningless chitchats. Either your interlocutor goes into the heart of the matter or you would have to postpone casual small talk. People cease to insist when they see how absorbed you are by more important matters. The only reason why your private life concerns them is that they have nothing better to do with their life. Get them involved in other activities or let them know it’s not the best time for going deeper into the nuances of your life.
Open your book of life only to few people. Because in this world very few care to understand the chapters, others are just curious to know.
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