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It’s my life. Don’t tell me how I should live.

It’s my life. Don’t tell me how I should live.

Most of the people tend to tell us what should we do. How we should live. Who we should listen to. As if there was one best way to approach life. As if there was one best receipt to make our life happy. As if we’re all the same.

Mom knows better.

My mom was the one who wanted to tell me how I should live. She wanted me to study marketing. She wanted me to get married after graduating. She wanted me to keep my savings to buy a flat.

I studied journalism. I got married by 30. I spent my savings on travels.

Friends know better.

My friend was the one who wanted to tell me how I should raise my child. She wanted me not to come when my child cries at night. She wanted me to not to react when my child gets angry. She wanted me to keep the discipline by all means.

I come to my child at night whenever she needs me. I hug my child whenever she gets angry. I give my child as much love as possible.

Colleagues know better.

My colleagues are the ones who want to tell me what should be important for me. They want me to have a fancy car. They want me to drink every weekend. They want me to buy trendy gadgets.

I have a decent car. I spend calm weekends doing what I like and meeting who I like. I buy only indispensable stuff.

It’s my life.

It’s my life and I have the right to make choices. I have the right to make decisions. I have the right to make mistakes. I have the right to live differently. Why all people around try to deprive my rights? Why all people around don’t focus on their own lives?

Don’t teach. Share your experience.

I’m against teaching other people how they should live. They have their own intuition. They have their own background. They have their own priorities.

I opt for sharing experiences as the best way to support each other. To learn from each other. To understand each other. Sharing best practices is a powerful tool to excel what we do. It doesn’t mean we have to change. It means we may want to try a different approach. Not to follow blindly the plan other people have prepared for us.

Do other people tell you how you should live?

How do you react?

What’s the best approach to stay strong?

19 thoughts on “It’s my life. Don’t tell me how I should live.”

  • Great post as always.
    I can totally relate.
    Plenty people tell me what to do and what not to do. I’ve argued with them and found that it never leads anywhere. So now I just say: “Sure, I’ll think about it”. Those close to me know that they can talk all they want, but I will still do my own thing. I do listen to them. However, None of them know all the circumstances I am aware of, so it’s impossible for them to judge some things correctly.
    I give advice when asked, but I never try to change the way people live, because I know they might know things I don’t. What would be appropriate for me in their situation might not be appropriate for them.

    • Hi! Thank you for your comment! How are you doing? You’re absolutely right saying that arguing leads anywhere and what’s worse, it makes us lose time and energy for nothing. I will definitely try your approach which is not denying and not approving someone’s advice either. It’s a gentle way to acknowledge someone’s willigness to help and that’s all. As a parent, I hear plenty of advice what should I do and what I don’t. But I believe every parent knows what is the best for his/her own child. If you have a child, then you have your own 5 min to put in practise what suits you the best. If you’re not parent, then you should never open your mouth to judge other parents. As simple as that.

      • I’m doing well. Thank you.
        The thing is that we/ every child is different. What works for their child might not work for yours. Plus, we all hold a different set of values that we want to pass on. I might not agree with how you are raising your child, but ultimately it is YOUR child.

        • That’s so true. Why then so many people find themselves eligible to tell others how to raise children or how to live?

            • I’m trying my best not to tell other people how to live. However, I find it really hard not to comment on how other people live and what kind of decisions they make. Do you believe it’s possible not to comment on others? Do you comment on how other people live?

              • Yes and no. It depends who the other people are (close family, or random strangers). Also, I might comment, but I don’t dwell on it once things are said. It is up to them to take it or leave it.

                  • Unfortunately, yes. But, I don’t say anything I wouldn’t say to them, and I just state something and move on, without judging them, etc.

                    • That’s a great value! I often don’t have the courage to say someone face to face all I think about him/her. I don’t want to hurt him/her or I’m afraid of the reaction. I always try to say it softly and make sure it will not sound like a judgment. However, I find it difficult to have the same approach to my family. Sometimes, I say more than I should.

                    • That’s the point. We believe it’s easier to lose a stranger than the person we love. But why do we care so much about strangers such as colleagues, bosses etc? Do we build our self-esteem on them?

        • What if a parent hurts or destroys the child? Should we react or should we say: it’s your child, you can do what you want?

          • That happens more often than it should. It depends on your relations to the child. You can nudge the parents, or parent the kid yourself when you spend the time with them. Otherwise, often times, there is not much we can do (short of calling child protective services in extreme cases).

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