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Imperfect couples last longer.

Imperfect couples last longer.

Whenever a friend of mine started a new relationship she was always saying how wonderful they were together. How powerful they were together. How perfect they were together. Nothing seemed comparable.

Then one day, just in the middle of saying something unimportant, she was telling me it was over.

– What happened…this time?

– He’s someone completely different than I thought.

Then my partner was telling me:

– You see? Perfect couples don’t last long. Imperfect couples stay together for years.

It made me think about how we understand having perfect relationship and why we actually look for a perfect partner.

Perfect partner needed.

It made me realize that mostly we want a perfect partner clean out the mess in our life. Sort out our problems. Raise up our self-estime.

And when it doesn’t work, then the game is over.

This is also what movie’s happy ends try to sell us. We believe happy ends last forever. We believe happy ends mean no disputes. No silent days. No tears.

While it’s exactly the opposite.

Bad days make us stronger.

In an imperfect couple all bad days make us stronger. All bad days teach us how to live together. How to listen to oneself. How to love despite the challenges. Despite being tired. Despite being mad. Despite being weak.

The best thing in having someone imperfect in our life is that we don’t raise unrealistic expectations. We don’t draw unrealistic pictures. We don’t live in an unrealistic space. We’re not all the time disappointed. We don’t feel all the time being lied. We don’t feel all the time frustrated. We see someone’s true face. We know what we agreed for.

In an imperfect couple we’re more likely to accept someone with all weaknesses. With all habits. With all baggage of life experiences. In an imperfect couple each of us struggles with something. Each of us has to get over something. Each of us has challenges to complete.

That’s why we understand each other so well.

9 thoughts on “Imperfect couples last longer.”

  • The “perfect” couples are those that keep appearances for longer. The faster you become real and honest with each other, you sooner you will realize that no one is perfect.The sooner you will get to see the other person’s imperfections. And only THEN you get to decide if you can live with them.

    • That’s absolutely true what you’ve written
      It’s just about appearances. Surprisingly being real and honest is much easier than pretending someone we would like to be. It’s a fair play. We accept each other the way we are or we separate our ways. I see so many people trying to build a picture of being perfect couple and it raising a huge frustration in them. Do you think we can pretend the whole life?

            • I watched recently an old movie when someone said: woman should always love a little bit less than man. Maybe sometimes it’s not so bad to keep a little part of ourselves hidden as this is mostly a way more tempting than being totally open.

              • I see what you mean. I believe I hear that saying somewhere before. However, I don’t like that too much, because once one person realizes the other one is holding back, they withdraw a bit, too. And then it’s a battle who keeps more to themselves and the couple falls apart.
                Maybe it depends on what stage of a relationship you’re in?

              • But I see what you mean by the “temptation”. When you asked about honesty, I thought of being myself and not faking it. Not showing all of your cards might be a different story.

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