5 reasons why gossiping ruins our life.
We love gossips. We love gossiping. We love gossiping about people we don’t like. Or we pretend we like them. Or we like them but we want to feel better. Gossips make us forget about our own problems. The only thing is that actually it generates even more problems.
I will tell you why.
I never liked to gossip. But I’ve been often doing so. Because as many of us do I felt it’s been making me member of a group. A group of people who felt it made them stronger. A group of people who felt they mattered more. Who were bored with own life and were seeking an entertainment.
Till we’ve got a very important life lesson.
1. Karma gets back.
If someone gossips about others with you, he certainly gossips with others about you.
For long time I believed that if someone was sharing a gossip with me it was a sign of trust. Sign of confidence. Sign of making me belonging. I believed that was the way friendships got their roots. By sharing secrets which weren’t ours.
With the course of time I realized how wrong were I. People have been sharing gossips with me to get new gossips about others from me. Or just to get something they could gossip about me. So whenever I gossiped about someone then someone gossiped about me. I learned only people who don’t gossip are truly worth of trust.
2. Don’t judge. Otherwise you may be judged.
I remember how intensively we’ve been reliving people’s actions.
– How could she behave like that? How could he do so? How could they say something like that?
We felt empowered to judge. To judge what was good and what was wrong. To judge without having got to know people’s lifestory.
Eventually I learned that judging someone often results in being judged. Some people stay on your side only when you’re doing well and they quickly disappear when you fall down. When you make a mistake. When you take a wrong decision. Suddenly it’s you who become object of judgement.
3. Gossiping never solve your own problems.
You can’t fix yourself with breaking someone.
Gossiping never solved a single problem we’ve been living with. Actually, it’s been helping us not to think about them. About challenges we’ve been supposed to face. Steps we’ve been supposed to undertake. Choices we’ve been supposed to make. Focusing on people’s life were much easier than going ahead on own path.
We’ve been loosing our time living other’s life.
4. Gossiping impacts negatively your image.
We never look good making someone else looking bad
Gossiping drags on after you for many years. It destroys relationships. Friendships. Reputation. It sticks gossip girl or gossip boy label to your image and makes you not being treated in a serious way. And it certainly doesn’t make you a person someone would like to share secrets with.
5. Gossiping is for people who are unhappy.
People are probably not very happy with their lifes if they are busy discussing others.
If we have time to gossip it means we do nothing constructive in our life we could share with others. If we like to gossip it means our life is empty of real emotions we could share with others. If we have no ideas to discuss but rumours it means we let go a great opportunity to share inspiring experiences which could help us achieve even more.
In fact, gossiping never made me feel better. Or made me feel better just for a while. After I was feeling awful. Who were I to judge? Who were I to claim what’s good and what’s wrong? Who were I to judge without having got to know someone’s lifestory?
My friend told me once:
– Why are you bothering about what others did, what others said, what others think? It’s not your problem. It’s theirs. Leave it to them.
Then I realized out of the blue:
– Indeed. Why am I spending so much time on analyzing something I have no influence on?
I don’t have influence on what other people do. I don’t have influence on what other people say. I don’t have influence on what other people think. Why shall I bother? It’s not my problem at all.
Yesterday I’ve spent an amazing evening with my friends. And do you know why it was amazing? It was amazing because we’ve spent together 5 hours without gossiping. 5 hours talking just about our lifes, our memories, our plans, our dreams. 5 hours talking about our problems, ideas, solutions. 5 hours talking about ourselves. Not about other people. Not about other people’s problems. Not about other people’s mistakes.
It’s so incredibly liberating when you don’t have to comment on other people’s life. When you leave their life to them. When you leave their problems to them. When you leave their mistakes to them.
This is how I’ve found a balance in my life. I’ve found a peace. I’ve found a power to move on.
I challenge you to try.
Please share with me the result!