One is for sure. We cannot forget our past. But we can accept it. We can live with it. And we can stop thinking about it every day.
One bad chapter doesn’t mean it’s the end of the story.
The only thing is that sometimes it takes weeks, sometimes it takes months and sometimes it takes years.
Can’t it last a bit shorter? It can! Here is what we can do to speed things out a bit.
1. I forgive myself
Sometimes things don’t go the way we would like them to do so. Sometimes we want to do something right but it turns into something wrong. Sometimes life wants us to take a lesson.
Blaming yourself for what you did wrong is like blaming yourself that you live. Every mistake teaches us a lesson we would never get if it hadn’t happened. This lesson may change all we didn’t dare to change before. This lesson may be a new start in our life. This lesson may help us to make our way to the right direction.
We may not be forgiven but we can forgive ourselves.
This is a great step to feel relieved and regain inner peace. Thanks to that we can feel better. We can do better. We can be better.
How to forgive yourself?
What always works for me is powerful affirmations:
I forgive myself
I let the past go with peace
I accept my mistakes
I wish all the best to people I hurt / who hurt me
I deserve to start over
Everything happens for a purpose
Whenever a wave of guilt hits me or I feel like a witness I use one or more of above affirmations. It releases the tension. With the course of time, the memories become less and less painful. I focus on a new path of my life.
2. I focus on now
Living in the past is useless as we have no power to change what is already behind us. The only power we have in our hands is living now.
How to focus on now?
- It may seem silly but I’m used to pricking my finger with a nail to bring my thoughts back to the present. It’s a sign for me I flow too much behind now.
- I play my favorite music loud to jam unnecessary thoughts
- I try to catch the moment when something good is happening
- I try to do one thing at once
- I try to think about one thing at once.
3. I get busy
The past wins over me when I have nothing to do. When I have too much time to think. That’s why I do my best to get busy. To concentrate my energy and attention on something more constructive than reviewing the past.
It’s a good time to start something new: working on a new project, a new experience, a new skill. Nothing inspires so much to forget about the past than a new challenge.
4. I meet new people
Fresh blood, fresh mindset, fresh ideas. New people mean a new life. New people mean you can start to be someone new. You can start to be yourself.
New people in my life give me a hope my life may be different. New people don’t judge me the way my past does. New people see my values, not my mistakes. Their perspective is not shadowed by my past actions.
I can start over.
5. I breathe consciously
Whenever I feel like a bad memory strikes on me I take 5 conscious breaths. I let it go through me and pass away. I don’t hold it. I don’t analyze it. The more I resist accepting certain things the more it gets back to me. I let it become part of me for a while to heal it.
It’s like a cloud blew by the wind. It comes and goes. It gives rain or gives thunderstorm. But eventually, it gives the sun the place to shine.
6. I move on
Few weeks ago I bought a pair of jogging shoes. They’ve been waiting for their time. One day, I was totally pissed off with the whole world. I put them on. I went out. I took my dog with me. I started to run.
Suddenly I felt something strange. I felt all my stress was gone. All my tension disappeared. All my anger flew away. I felt free. I could breathe again.
That evening I fell asleep with peace.
7. I meditate
When I feel overloaded with bad memories, I just close my eyes and pay attention to the way I breathe. Sometimes 30 sec is enough to get back control over my mind.
8. I pray
When I feel down and helpless then I speak to Him. Knowing there is someone above all of this shit gives hope. Obviously, it’s easier to pray when everything goes wrong than when everything goes well. But when I need to fight with bad memories there is no one better to help in case all my cannon fell apart.
What are your ideas to let the past go?
I would be happy to hear from you!
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